Having an Ego Helps

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Alternate title - What ABC's The Bachelor has taught me about weight loss and life.

I love watching The Bachelor franchise so much.  I watch it as a study in sociology and culture, I watch it to make fun of the contestants on Twitter, and to learn what beachwear is currently trendy.  It is solid gold entertainment to watch and follow along on the twitter feed #thebachelor - fellow watchers are hilarious!

This season is featuring Nick, the bachelor who was left broken hearted on three different seasons.  His group of ladies are all sweet and lovely, and then there is Corinne.  Corinne is the villain of the season.  Nick seems to dig her, and all the ladies hate her.  I just grab the popcorn because she makes for good TV!

Hate her or love her, there is something very valuable we can learn from Corinne.  Throwing yourself at men works!  Being confident and having an ego will catapult you towards your goal in a meaningful way.  Corinne isn't caught up in what the girls (or America) think of her.  She is confident with what she is working with and has her eye on the prize.  

Having a large ego gets a bad reputation, and unchecked you can come off as arrogant at best and delusional at worst.  

I am not advocating for the worst aspects of a large ego.  You don't need a yuuuge ego, but it my opinion that they are helpful to have when pursuing your goals.  Your ego picks up where your self esteem ends to give you a boost.  Your ego bridges the gap when your confidence isn't quite there.  'Fake it 'til you make it' as they say.  

Not to generalize, but it is difficult to find a heavy person who is brimming with self esteem and confidence.  They exist, and God bless them, because we need examples in our society that convey this message.  In the real world where I live, most large people I know don't feel great about how they look, how they are treated in different avenues of life and general levels of feeling successful.  This is where you need an ego. 

We aren't lording our abilities over others or acting like giant tool bags, we are saying we are confident, we can do anything we set our mind to, and we are mother snuggling champions.

Is Corinne contemplating on how some women in the 'Bachelor Mansion' might be too young for Nick, or here for the wrong reasons™?  Does she concern herself with Danielle being too boring for Nick, or Raven being too crazy?  Heck no.  Corinne is putting on her hottest bikini and going out to get her man. (and napping when necessary, lol)  Let's be real, all this feigned concern for Nick picking the right girl is just the girls wanting to weed out the competition because they see Corinne as a real threat.

I think most of the ladies on the show are confident.  They know who they are, they feel good about their abilities, and hold their head up high.  Corinne has confidence + ego because she is all of those things and not afraid to let it be known and be proud of them.  Ego seeks validation from the outside world -  which doesn't have to be a bad thing.  

I was brought up in a culture that values humility.  1. because I am a lady, and we aren't supposed to be braggy and 2. because that is a common moral value we all should have.  They are competing ideas, for sure.  I will say, in the every day world I don't believe it is harmful for us to know we are good at things and be confident in that fact.  I see it in the business world all the time.  The ones who remind the boss of their wins are the ones who get noticed over the ones who downplay their contributions.

My point is, don't say, oh I lost 5 pounds, no big deal.  Say, I'm 5 pounds down and I am going to be ten pounds down by the end of the month!  Don't say, ho hum, I was only able to walk 30 mins on the treadmill before I was dead tired and hurting.  Say, I am 400 pounds and I just crushed my 1.5 miles on the treadmill, my body is amazing!  Don't say, I suck, I ate like 45 girl scout cookies this week.  Say, I did awesome at drinking water this week, and I lost weight, I rule!  Revel in your accomplishments!  Know that you are capable of great things.  You don't even realize it now, but there was a time when you didn't even think weight loss was possible, let alone that you'd be so good at it! ;)  Don't even for a second worry that you used to be able to run faster, or you will never be as thin as so-and-so.  All those do is made you feel bad and make you want to quit.  It is not champion talk.  When you feel good and have positive thoughts, it is a virtuous cycle that will encourage more positive behaviors that move you towards your goal.  Our minds are powerful, so lets put them in our corner.

Is my ego big?  I'm working on it.  I will say I am very confident in my knowledge of the intricacies of my own body and how I need structure my diet.  I am confident that I can climb stairs without getting out of breath.  I am confident that I can cook a really tasty healthful meal.  These are starts, I just need to get into celebrating myself more, then I will be where I want to be.  No one said it was easy.  Lucky for me, I share a life with a man with quite the sizable ego, maybe he can give me some pointers! 😏

Corinne is probably not the girl to end up with Nick, I am calling it now.  But it won't be because she was insecure or being pulled down by negative chatter from other ladies.  She's got the eye of the tiger, so either way, she will be just fine.

1 comment: